The First Moments
This is a very cozy place and the place where I have felt very safe. I don’t know how the outside world is but under this blanket I feel like the King. I was a facing a red colored wall sleeping on my shoulder blinking my tiny eyes wondering about just everything that was happening around me. I could hear a lot of harsh sounds which made me close my fist. I was scared, folded my legs and squeezed myself. At times I would get angry (I don’t know what that emotion is) and kick the blanket. It was real warm as I was stretching my body and yawning. It was very dark under the blanket and the freedom to think absolutely anything. It felt like I was asleep for a very long time.
I do not know what was happening but I started feeling cold. It was feeling like the blanket was slipping away from me. I was scared. The darkness around me frightened me more. It was real cold, spine chilling and the sounds around me, oh my God they were really atrocious. I dint dare to open my eyes. Whack!!! A slap on my buttocks made me curious to open my eyes. I couldn’t face the bright light; it was the total opposite to the darkness I was experiencing just a few moments before. It was white everywhere around me for the first few moments. Maybe I was surrounded by ghosts!!! The thoughts and the slap both made me cry and tears rolled down my eyes. I could feel that I was floating or hanging in the air. With a strong heart, I made up my mind to open my eyes and face the demon outside. It was like a bolt from the blue to see everything upside down. I was excited to see a pair of eyes examining me as I continued to cry because of the after effects of the slap. The guy was wearing a green dress and some cloth on his mouth. (May be he dint want me to pee in his mouth). I was so surprised to see this world that I couldn’t speak for almost a year. Yes, I had finally come out of my mother’s Womb. Everything around me was new to me except for one thing – My MOM. A female wearing white dress took me in her arms and gave me a bath. But my eyes were still searching for my MOM. I was worried as I couldn’t notice her anywhere near me. As a result I cried louder.
Finally I was handed over to her. She held me carefully in both her hands. My eyes met with her eyes. She smiled sweetly looking at me, I smiled too. I started playing with her hair, forgot that there were so many people waiting to have a look at me. I was very comfortable in her soft hands and her smile made me feel very secure. I could feel the warmth, the love, the care consequently bringing a sense of joy in me and I was smiling. I noticed there were a lot of people around me who wanted to see me and talk to me. But I just wanted be with my MOM. She was happy too. She placed me beside her so that I don’t get scared seeing strangers and I dozed off to sleep again.
I felt a hand moving over my head slowly, patting me on my stomach, I woke up and realized it was MOM again. Both of us were so happy with each other. I could see a man approaching me. I don’t know why I never got scared of him. As he came nearby I realized he was my DAD. He came close to me and gave a smile. I smiled too and held his index finger. It felt great, I can’t put it in words here but a smile would say it all. I also noticed one more female who was walking towards me. I noticed that a part of her face resembled Ma and with some white hair, my mind said she’s someone whom you can trust and my heart said she’s your Grandma. I could sense that they were talking about one more or maybe few persons who were not there. But the absence of my Grandpa and Brother was felt by me. MAA and Grandma were talking about my brother (I guess) totally ignoring me for a few moments which made me wonder who’s he? For a moment I felt Jealous!!! But then I was very eager to meet him and know what’s so special that they were talking about him.
That day was May 6th, 1987 11:56 pm when I dived onto this world not knowing about the future. The above few lines capture the first few moments of my life. Today I sit and think about the experiences of my life though I am just a 23 year old guy. Looking back at the past teaches you so many things that are going to make the future fruitful. The innocence I had that day is lost. I would respond to everything with one sweet smile of mine. Even if Maa was angry at me I would return her a smile which would bring a smile on her face. But today I know (not that I have them) emotions like anger, hatred. So don’t you think looking back at ourselves would really teach something good for a better life now? Can I call it back to the future??
Labels: Random thoughts